Monday, April 21, 2008

God's Will

If you are like me, you have spent your fair share of time trying to "find" God's will, as if God is playing a game of cosmic hide-and-seek with us. We plan and search and agonize - hoping that by our detailed plans, we will suddenly discover the hidden blueprint that explains the meaning of our lives .

I have had a few people in my life tell me they found God's will when they least expected it...or when they least expected Him to be there. Now I know for sure, we don't "find" God's will. It "finds" us.

Since Bryan has entered my life, even before he entered this world, I have said many times to my close family and friends that I feel as though God's hand has been guiding me through this journey, more so now than ever before. He has always found just the right people to place in our lives at just the right time and some of the turns of events simply cannot be explained away as "coincidence".

I suppose all of us can look back at the major turning points of life and see how a pattern of events just "happened" in a certain way that led us in a certain direction. My life often turns on small decisions and unexpected events and certainly if everything I had planned had gone accordingly, I would not be where I am today or who I am today. Heartbreak that forces you to change your life's path, a chance meeting that produces someone you can't imagine your life without, a friend we “happened” to meet at a new job, a life changing event when we thought we had just figured out our life's path for the future, a fragment of a remembered recurring dream. It happens all the time. For all our obsessing about "finding" God's will, when we look back, we see that God's will found us first.

So pay attention the next time someone knocks on your door or comes into your life unexpectedly. It might be God's Will.

I met God's Will on a Halloween night
He was dressed as a bag of leaves
It hid the braces on his legs at first
His smile was as bright as the August sun
When he looked at me
As he struggled down the driveway, it almost
Made me hurt
Will don't walk too good
Will don't talk too good
He won't do the things that the other kids do,
In our neighborhood

I've been searchin', wonderin', thinkin'
Lost and lookin' all my life
I've been wounded, jaded, loved and hated
I've wrestled wrong and right
He was a boy without a father
And his mother's miracle
I've been readin', writin', prayin', fightin'
I guess I would be still
Yeah, that was untilI knew God's Will

Will's mom had to work two jobs
We'd watch him when she had to work late
And we'd all laugh like I hadn't laughed
Since I don't know when
Hey Jude was his favorite song
At dinner he'd ask to pray
And then he'd pray for everybody in the world but him

Before they moved to California
His mother said, they didn't think he'd live
And she said each day that I have him, well it's justanother gift
And I never got to tell her, that the boy
Showed me the truth
In crayon red, on notebook paper, he'd written
Me and God love you
I've been searchin', prayin', wounded, jaded
I guess I would be still
Yeah that was until...I met God's Will on a Halloween night
He was dressed as a bag of leaves


Kim said...

That was just beautfiul. Truly touching and so true! Was it Danielle-Peyton's mother who was told that we are all such special parents/grandparents. I mean out of every 25,000 people we are picked to raise such extraordinary people!

Candi said...

I have always loved that song, and love it so much more since Avery because it has such a different meaning to me now. Thank you for sharing!